Starved

Being apart from you hurts me. Deeply, emotionally, physically hurts me. My body aches for your touch, for your arms around me. I feel affection starved...no kisses, no hand to hold with fingers intertwined with mine, no one reaching for me in the night, no one to hold me after a bad dream, no lovemaking...just lonliness. Ugly, miserable lonliness. And the need for your touch overwhelms me and pushes me deep below the surface where I can think of nothing but the emptiness and the hurts...it just hurts and hurts so much.

When You're Gone

When you're gone, I don't know how to be me anymore. I don't want to go places or do things or see people...I don't want to live my life without you. So I put it all on hold, refusing to truly live when you're not there to live it with me. I crawl into bed and pull up the covers and hide from life, choosing instead to disappear into dreams where we can be together and where it doesn't hurt so much and where the time apart goes more quickly. I'd like to stay here in bed until we're truly together again, but while I ignore life, it won't ignore me and eventually I must pretend again to be okay with living without you...but I'm not okay, I'm never okay without you.