I'm Broken

It is said that acknowledging the truth is the first step...well here's the truth: I'm broken.

I've been broken forever I think, certainly as far as I can remember. Sometimes I hide it better than others. Sometimes I handle it better than others. Sometimes I can't hide it or deal with it...this is one of those times.

I'm tired.

I'm tired of being fat.
I'm tired of being alone.
I'm tired of falling asleep without you holding me.
I'm tired of us not having sex.
I'm tired of wondering if its because I'm not her.
I'm tired of putting on a smile so you won't know its really not okay.
I'm tired of you believing the lie and not recognizing the truth.
I'm tired of everyone asking but not really caring.
I'm tired of lying and saying I'm fine or great when I'm neither.
I'm tired of feeling like this.

I'm tired. I'm broken. I'm alone.

I'm not supposed to be alone...you were supposed to change that. I'm here. You're there. I'm still alone.